Trashingly creative

Housing Ad seen on Craigslist:

"$460 / 1br - butt-ugly basement apt for rent (again). still cheap (gerrard/coxwell)

looking for new hobbit for low-ceiling basement apartment with crooked walls and head-banger doorway.
ongoing noises from creaky upstairs wood floors, furnace and hot water heater.
definitely not "well-appointed".
not shiny
not bright
not new

could it sound more attractive?!

ah, but did you notice the price?!!!

and for this you get:
-a separate entrance.
-own bathroom
-mini-kitchen (in an awkward spot right at the entrance) with gas stove/oven, sink and bar-fridge.
-one bedroom and a living area.
-no worries about a roomie moving out and leaving you responsible to cover the whole rent alone!
-a relatively laid back landlady (... except about garbage, smell, and rent payment.)
-leaks, major issues dealt with as promptly as possible

for this I get:
- one (1) tenant who is relatively laid back... except about paying the rent on time. always on time.
-someone who cares deeply about not attracting rodents or insects, who doesn't befriend organic waste.
-someone who lets me know about leaks and any other major issues
-a non-smoker.
-no pets (sorry, I like animals but based on experience, I don't always trust their owners to take care of them)
-good references, including one from most recent landlord... who is not (coincidentally!?) the owner of the pub that you frequent. (no objection to alcohol, just to loud drunken stupidity)

paddlers/hikers/eco-conscious people preferred, but this is definitely not a requirement.
OK, well, the last one is sort of a requirement because I've ordered a "small" sized garbage bin from the city of toronto and if I need to upgrade to medium or large, you will have to pay for it.
There are sometimes canoes in the wee-little-bitty backyard. And bicycles. And stuff. "laid-back" might cover that, but paddler/hiker/cyclist might help since that's the "stuff" that clutters the yard.

please note that i'm going to show it to at LEAST 5 people before committing. even if i like you.

my current tenant is moving closer to work and I've offered a pro-rated rent refund depending on when new tenant moves in, so the availability is quite flexible.

if you've taken the time to read this and are interested, reply to posting or email me at __________@hotmail.com (please use something like "apartment for rent" in the subject line) I'll get back to you as soon as possible

Pics available upon request. "


(How creative, isn't it?)

GTGL8RZ!